Avoiding Monkey Bar Syndrome

Being in a relationship can be a lot of fun. It can bring happiness and can be extremely pleasurable. While being in a relationship can be amusing, some people tend to start growing a dependency on relationships. We all have those people in our lives that are constantly in a relationship of some sort. Once they go through a breakup, they have somebody lined up to replace their last boo.

This is what I like to call monkey bar syndrome. Monkey bar syndrome is when you go from one relationship to the next without giving yourself time in between to breathe. A lot of people tend to monkey bar in and out of relationships because they don’t like the feeling of being single. Some people equate being single to being lonely. Monkey bar syndrome can lead people to make a lot of mistakes.

I’ve experienced monkey bar syndrome once before when I was in high school. I remember constantly feeling the need to have someone to call mine and to FaceTime every night. I loved waking up every morning to good morning texts and things, as such. The moment a relationship would break off with someone, I was instantly on to the next. I didn’t like the feeling of not having someone. Luckily this didn’t last very long. I eventually came to realize being single, as I once had been, wasn’t the worst thing in the world.

The transition from being in a relationship to being single can be difficult. After a breakup, we naturally feel the need to find someone to fill the void that automatically appears. Because we're so used to being in a relationship, it’s hard to adjust to not being in one. This is why we so often fall into looking for a rebound, whether it be consciously or unconsciously.

It’s important to take time for yourself and reflect. After you end a relationship, there should be a period when you date yourself. This is important because you have to look at what went wrong in the relationship. If you don’t, all you’ll be doing is transferring the baggage from your previous relationship into your new one. Constantly being in relationships will keep you from growing and you'll eventually lose yourself. Taking time for yourself will also help you differentiate what you need and what you don’t need in a relationship.

Monkey bar syndrome is something we’ve all been through. I understand the feeling of always wanted to be boo’d up. When being in a relationship is a big part of who you are, it’s hard to break that cycle. But it’s vital that we take the time to be by ourselves after a breakup. Being single doesn’t mean you’re alone and you’ll eventually find someone new when the time’s right. Until then, it’s necessary to realize the power of self-love and solitude.

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