Fool Me Once: The Most Common Dating Mistake

To describe dating as complicated is an understatement. As I mentioned in my previous post, Battle of the Sexes: Why Dating Seems So Complicated, dating can be a constant struggle. At times, it can feel as though you're stuck on a carousel, not being able to get off. There is a common dating mistake that is made among many that keep them from progressing in their love lives.

The most common mistake people make when dating is failing to learn from their past relationships. Whether it be that they go back to the same person or date the same type of person, they find themselves stuck in a cycle of redundancy in their relationships. For instance, the person who constantly goes back to their significant other every time they cheat. Or the one who's always complaining about how poorly they're being treated in their relationship yet stays. As people tend to say 'fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me'.

Oftentimes, people blame all their relationship woes on the people their dating, when really they should be blaming themselves. It's expected to place the blame on someone when they break your trust the first time around, but to go back expecting something different is silly. The problem comes in when people go back to those unhealthy relationships, get hurt, and continue to place all the blame their significant other. It's like someone leaving their car door unlocked, getting robbed, then leaving their car unlocked again the next day. They honestly can't be mad at anyone but themselves.

If you find yourself being in similar circumstances, constantly getting hurt, give yourself a break from dating. However long it may take, be to yourself and learn from your mistakes. What happened in the previous relationships that hurt you? What mistakes were made? What could've been done differently? Write these things down so you know what to avoid in your next relationship and what you need to work on, yourself. It may be difficult, at first, if you're used to being in a relationship, but it's necessary in order to grow.

It's reasonable to point the finger at the person who keeps hurting you, but the lack of personal growth after a relationship will only keep you from being in the healthy relationship you've always wanted. You can't go about life doing the same things expecting different results. Removing those people from your life and taking accountability for yourself will surely improve your dating life.


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